“And yet, O Lord, you are our Father.
We are the clay, and you are the potter.
We all are formed by your hand.”  ~Isaiah 64:8

Nelson Mandela has long been a hero of mine. On the flight to South Africa five years ago, I read Mandela’s lengthy auto-biography, Long Walk to Freedom. The context the book provided made my speaking tour there fascinating. I recognized the street and building names as comrades and prison mates of the great man.

Recently, as I have been reading everything I can get my hands on about his redemptive life, I can’t help think of parallels with the life of Joseph. Both began as young, arrogant men with big dreams. Both suffered hardship as the result of convictions they couldn’t deny. Both spent years in the crucible of prison and both emerged with 24 carrot character and the moral authority to lead. There is one other thing they share: Joseph and Mandela chose forgiveness and reconciliation over vengeance once power was in their hands. They allowed the hardships of prison to bring out the best in them. To harness passion into self-discipline. To distill frustration into patience. To refine anger into love.

As a result, Joseph saved his nation from starvation. Mandela saved his from bloodshed. Both left a legacy of grace.

When we enter a new year we tend to do it with optimism and hope. We are going to lose weight and save money. Have a regular quiet time and work out. Eat sensibly and travel. It’s going to be better than last year.

We should set goals to accomplish noble things. But in many cases we have no control over our health or wealth. We can’t avert economic recessions or corporate restructuring any more than we can prevent a tragic accident or diagnosis. We can’t control the infidelity of a spouse or the betrayal of friends.

What we can do is allow even the huge injustices of life to make us compliant clay in the Potter’s hands. We can determine that whatever comes our way in 2014, we will humbly submit to our Father’s leadership in our lives and allow him to use all things to mould us into the likeness of Jesus for the good of our family, our church, our nation and our world. He is still in the business of restoration. He still tenaciously twists every cruel plan of the enemy into a redemptive outcome. God will never waste our pain or our tears. If we will let him, He will use them to lead us to our place of highest influence and fulfillment.

Lay your hopes and plans for 2014 at the feet of your Father. Consciously submit to his will in all your relationships and endeavours. And claim his promise: And we know that God causes everything to work together for the good of those who love God and are called according to his purpose for them.

~Romans 8:28 NLT

“God Wants to be Our BFF”

I WANT TO SHARE this email I received from my friend Catherine. She was commenting on a section in Friend Me, in which I wrote about her creative strategies for initiating friendship.

Last week I read the chapter on how to make friends. Thanks for including me in it! One of the big lessons I’ve learned in that regard: if struggling to find a group that includes certain women I want to know –  create the group – find a reason for them to become a group.  God has “agreed” with this strategy a few times, put the kibosh on a few and totally “taken over” a few times to make groups I could never have imagined.

 A time when God agreed: I didn’t know any of my neighbors in Alaska.   I wanted to know the women on my street 1) for friendship and friendliness and 2) in case we had a natural emergency like bear invasion, moose stomping, earthquake, landslide, avalanche, power-outage or erupting volcano.  Basically, I really wanted to know who had a generator!  So, after praying and procrastinating I formed a neighbourhood book club.  I was a little disappointed that just two women came to the organizational meeting, one of them the only neighbour who had greeted us the day we moved in, but God was on board.  Five years later it was a friendly group of 13 neighbours who cared for each other very much and did not miss book club except for extreme emergency. 

When God took over: After moving to Alaska God invited me into two years of solitude and the sweetest time with Him.  He kept saying to me “know Me”, “know Me,” “know Me,” and “start a Bible Study” and “Wait,” “Wait,” “Wait,” until eventually I heard Him say “Now”. This group started out as a Bible study for women who worked in my husband’s office. A couple of the women on my mind were new Christians and new moms. Naturally, I assumed they would want my wisdom and would have the time after working all day and taking care of their families to come to a weekly women’s group. Uh…no.  About 20 women came to the first meeting but over the next few months they dribbled away.  This group went through a very rocky first year but morphed into a group of women from every diverse aspect of life in Alaska.  It became a cohesive group of believing women committed to God and being there for each other.

 I also started a Bible Study in Anchorage’s club for wives of oil and gas professionals. Our first study was “10 Smart Things Women Can Do to Build a Better Life” which not only introduced us to each other but also to God and how He impacts our daily life.

So, about your  book, Friend Me…..  I can totally relate to it and I thank you for reminding me how precious friends are, how God formed us to want them and that He wants to be our bff. I am asking God “Want me to start a group with this book?”  He hasn’t said anything yet so I’m just letting that question float around in my heart and His.  We’ll see!

Most close friendships go through a season like the “seven-year itch” experienced by many married couples.  Sadly, it’s at this point that many friends make the same mistakes as married couples who pull the plug and file for divorce, judging that the work required to repair the relationship would come at too great a price.

The price to pay is risk – the risk of emotional vulnerability.  All relational repair is dangerous.  It’s the one thing to risk baring your heart and sharing your unguarded self with a friend who makes you feel close, safe and accepted.  It’s quite another to hazard your heart to someone you’re not even sure you still want in your life.

But a woman who doesn’t let her guard down, doesn’t speak her heart, and doesn’t listen to the heart of her friend will never experience the coziness of winter, warmed by the crackling fire of mature relationship.  She won’t even know if such a state is possible.  Many women describe themselves as lonely because they’ve never gotten to this place.  They gave up in autumn and watched their friendships wither and die.  All of the friendships God had brought into their lives have come and gone without ever reaching the tranquility of winter because these women have been too afraid to go deeper, where there’s risk of getting hurt and having to work to repair rifts in the relationship.

– an adapted excerpt from Friend Me – turning faces into lasting friendships.

To understand more about deepening your friendships – read Friend Me.

Are you interested in  Donna share her stories of friendship and how to turn faces into lasting friendships contact her at donna@straighttalkministries.com .